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Across from me was a woman who was staring intently out the window. She was sat on one of the "sideways" seats, where you can store your bike, and she seemed to be incapable of closing her legs. Thankfully her skirt was past her knees or it would have been like a very low budget remake of Basic Instinct. As the train started up she started to sing, quietly, under her breath. At first I just thought she was mouthing, but then I realised I could just about hear her voice under the train noise - it was something about Jesus. I have no objection to people having a faith, and wanting to praise Jesus in their own way. But when a spreadlegged woman with a tight Croydon facelift is murmuring the Lord's name, you start to get unnerved.

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I got a bit confused on the bridge, trying to work out which way to go. Kirkham was in one direction, and Wesham was in the other; I needed to go into the former, but I ended up on my way to the latter. I wondered if the railway bridge acted as a sort Fuck local sluts in gilberdyke frontier post, knowing how easily people start hating their neighbours. If you've watched much of the new series of Doctor Who, you'll know the concept of Fuck local sluts in gilberdyke points in time". My version was called Salwick. If you know anything about train services or perhaps you've read the story of Robert's visit you'll know Salwick only gets three trains towards Preston a day - one at 7: I absolutely, positively had to get that I'd been quite cocky about catching the train earlier that day.

The walk from Kirkham to Salwick didn't seem too arduous. In fact, I even texted Robert and asked if he knew if there were any pubs that way, because it looked like I'd have time to kill I'd forgotten that he hadn't even left the station on his visit, so as if he'd know. I sauntered through Kirkham. It wasn't just that I had plenty of time; I was also encountering hills for the first time on my trip. Steep hills, that went down one side and up the other. It did mean I got to see some of the town's unique features in great detail, like a weaver's loom in a bus shelter.

Kirkham was once a big textile centre, and when the last mill closed in they preserved the final loom in the town. A nice gesture, but I can't help wondering if the mill would have lasted longer if they hadn't been using equipment from the early 20th Century the plaque claims it was manufactured after the First World War. I'm going to apologise in advance to my friend Jennie, who grew up in this bit of the county, but I didn't find Kirkham that impressive. It had been described as a "market town" but to me it seemed like a housing estate with pretensions; the buildings were boring, the shops uninspired, the traffic relentless.

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